Some words and a book review of sorts

I’ve decided I should not blog on bad days. Today seems like a pretty good day so therefore I will update you. Things with baby S seem to be getting better, not worse. Horray for that! She sleeps way more than C ever did and the fussiness as been getting less and less since I wrote my last post the other day. So, that’s good news. And, she is way cute so that makes everything better, right? hee hee.

Anyway, I’ll admit that I did a horrible job in reading the assigned chapters for Book Review Friday this week. Every day I would go to bed thinking, “Oops, didn’t get to it today. I’ll find time tomorrow” and so I just read Matthew 5-7 for the first time this week a few minutes ago. Sad, I know. Since I’m such a slacker, this doesn’t qualify as a review but I do have one or two things I might like to say.

Ok, so basically as I started chapter 5 and we dove right into the sermon on the mount and the Beatitudes, I began to see that I have much work to do…all the time. Seriously, where have I gone wrong? How did I get so far from where I should be? It’s discouraging that I keep trodding my way back to a certain point closer to the Lord and then fall away to where I was before. What the heck am I doing? I really don’t know.

The next thing that poked me (I guess that poke is conviction, eh?) was chapter 6:32-34. Beside this passage, I had made a tiny note in 2004, the summer I worked as a camp cousellor at Truth for Youth Bible camp (you know, before I had kids and seemed to have actual time on my hands), anyway, beside the tiny note was a happy face. And I remember making that happy face like it was yesteday. How could that be 4 years ago?? I was happy because I trusted the Lord that summer for every single need I had and every single worry that I had. And worries I had alot of. I’ve aways been an anxious person. I worry about everything. all the time. But some how, I let the Lord look after it all as I made the kingdom of God my primary concern and it was the most peaceful few months I’ve ever had. I really wish I could get back to that level of trust in God. Sigh.

My worries are a little (or alot) different these days but often they take over my entire thought life. This is not good and not healthy for me. It’s wearing me down.

So there is my non-review. I’ll probably link it anyway because Shannon will make me 🙂

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Some words and a book review of sorts

  1. watchthesky

    I am so glad you linked, cuz I would make you. 🙂
    Don’t think that you want to get back to ‘that’ level of trust in God. Shoot for better. It is in these times when you are so stinkin exhausted, and can’t see past the end of your nose to see the bigger picture, that God is working bigger and better things in your life. You had to go through some icky stuff to get to ‘that’ level, and you’ll get to another place or level when this time is past. Its all part of the journey, eh?
    And about reading the chapters only once just a few minutes ago…. I think its totally exciting. BRF is making happen exactly what it should. If you haven’t read your Bible in a while, you will catch yourself up on it within a week. Before the BRF started I could go months without realizing how much time had passed without being in the Word. So rock on sister! We’re living and learning as we go here. 🙂

  2. anniepannie

    I know how you feel. On my old blog, I would look at older posts that were written when I felt so close to God and feel sick to my stomach that I got gone so far away from where I used to be.
    At the same time, it’s kind of a wake-up call to let us know that we need to make some changes.
    So glad you did a review!
    How did you get that cool pic on your header?

  3. thanks for the words of encouragment ladies. Shannon, what you wrote made me all teary eyed. Partly because I am exhausted and partly because you are so right and I got all fired up inside. Now, to do something about it 🙂

  4. Glad you are feeling better today. I also have times when I wonder why I can’t feel so close to Jesus as I would like. Liked your review.

  5. Congratulations on your new baby girl! I’m glad you are both doing better. She is so cute!
    Don’t expect too much from yourself right now. Being a new mom again is a full plate, plus you’re taking care of your other sweet daughter, and you are exhausted…all new moms are! Take one day at a time and do the best you can each day. 🙂

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