I’ve decided I should not blog on bad days. Today seems like a pretty good day so therefore I will update you. Things with baby S seem to be getting better, not worse. Horray for that! She sleeps way more than C ever did and the fussiness as been getting less and less since I wrote my last post the other day. So, that’s good news. And, she is way cute so that makes everything better, right? hee hee.
Anyway, I’ll admit that I did a horrible job in reading the assigned chapters for Book Review Friday this week. Every day I would go to bed thinking, “Oops, didn’t get to it today. I’ll find time tomorrow” and so I just read Matthew 5-7 for the first time this week a few minutes ago. Sad, I know. Since I’m such a slacker, this doesn’t qualify as a review but I do have one or two things I might like to say.
Ok, so basically as I started chapter 5 and we dove right into the sermon on the mount and the Beatitudes, I began to see that I have much work to do…all the time. Seriously, where have I gone wrong? How did I get so far from where I should be? It’s discouraging that I keep trodding my way back to a certain point closer to the Lord and then fall away to where I was before. What the heck am I doing? I really don’t know.
The next thing that poked me (I guess that poke is conviction, eh?) was chapter 6:32-34. Beside this passage, I had made a tiny note in 2004, the summer I worked as a camp cousellor at Truth for Youth Bible camp (you know, before I had kids and seemed to have actual time on my hands), anyway, beside the tiny note was a happy face. And I remember making that happy face like it was yesteday. How could that be 4 years ago?? I was happy because I trusted the Lord that summer for every single need I had and every single worry that I had. And worries I had alot of. I’ve aways been an anxious person. I worry about everything. all the time. But some how, I let the Lord look after it all as I made the kingdom of God my primary concern and it was the most peaceful few months I’ve ever had. I really wish I could get back to that level of trust in God. Sigh.
My worries are a little (or alot) different these days but often they take over my entire thought life. This is not good and not healthy for me. It’s wearing me down.
So there is my non-review. I’ll probably link it anyway because Shannon will make me 🙂
How is it that you forget how tiring having a newborn is? I guess I forgot.
So. I’m tired.
And, a little sad. I was so hoping I wouldn’t have a colicky baby this time because it is such a helpless feeling to watch your little one cry and scream and there is nothing to be done about it. Little S seems to be gearing up towards the colic trend that her big sis set for her 3 years ago. C started at about 3 weeks old. S isn’t quite 3 weeks yet but seems to be holding her own in the crying deptartment. Sigh.
I won’t lie. I’m a little discouaged. I was thinking of how unair it would be if both my babies had to suffer through the first few months with tummy troubles. But, alas, I guess I don’t get a say in that. It makes me feel guilty because I tell myself if I would have been able to nurse either of them then maybe this wouldn’t be an issue. But there is no way to actually know that so I should just leave myself alone. Yeah right.
Anyway, I’m still holding out a small amount of hope that S will be fine in a week or so. And I say again, yeah right 🙂
Hi. I’m going to write a few words about the chapters this week. I don’t think there will be anything earth shattering for you but I’ll type it anyway.
Are you one of those people that skip over the geneology sections? I’m SO not. I’m wierd like that. I read through every name every time I read it and I think this is the most fascinating one so if you skipped it or skimmed it, go back and really look at those important names. I love how the line of ancsetry (sp) leading up to the birth of Jesus is pretty much the people who make up most of the stories in the Bible. And if you read about those people, they aren’t perfect. If there is something I’ve learned during my book review readings its that God uses who he uses. All those pivitol characters in the geneology have a story and most of those stories involve them messing up one time or another. But the key is, something perfect came from the mess-ups. I sorta feel like I’m rambling and I’m not sure I get my own point but I do know that it reminds me that God can use me if I let Him even though I mess up time and time again.
Make any sense? Hopefully 🙂
Seriously, that’s about all my jumbled, sleep-deprived brain can manage tonight. I do find it hard to focus on anything these days besides the crying, feeding, and diaper changing coupled with trying to make time for my 3 year old. This being a mom of two is a little harder but I think once we get a routine down, I’ll be ok.
I guess I should update the blog, eh? Most of you know, I’m no longer pregnant and have another beautiful baby girl!! She’s awesome. We can’t get enough of her, because LOOK! LOOK AT ALL THE CUTENESS!
She was huge…as I suspected. 9lbs 12.5 oz. OUCH. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to sit on a chair again 🙂 But never fear, my husband saved the day yesterday when he came with an inflatable donut pillow for me to sit on. Hence the reason I am able to sit here and blog this morning. On the box, it is called a “rubber invalid pillow” I’m not even kidding. So, here sits an invalid on her rubber pillow to blog for you this day. Good times indeed. I’m going to post more eventually about this birth experience…but not today.
And now I must go snuffle my baby girl.