From the Cruiser

I sat down to read The Advertiser which in case you don’t know is one of the local valley newspapers that gets published once a week. Usually I just read through for exciting things like festival times, people I might know, or what’s happening in nearby towns. You know, the really, really important stuff.

Seeing as my friends husband just graduated from RCMP training school (It’s actually called Depot but I’m gonna call it training school) I thought I would read through the section entitled “from the cruiser”. It’s a list of 911 calls recieved in a certain period of time.  I honestly usually skip this section because having just read the court report beside this feature, I’ve found out all I need to know about local criminals AKA people I went to school with. Heh, heh.

I found it so interesting that I thought I would list some of the important ones for ya. Just so you know what the cops deal with around here in small town AV. These are all word for word…I might add italics or bolds where I see fit to accentuate accordingly.

– Four possible counterfeit $5 bills were noticed in Greenwich.

– A canoe was stolen out of an unlocked garage between DECEMBER and MAY. (seruously people, if you don’t lock your garage or even check on your canoe for about six months, you don’t deserve to own it)

– Police received a 911 call about two abandoned cats. (you can call 911 for that and they put it in the paper??)

– A green mountain bike was found in Wolfville. (I saw a green mountain bike once. Should I have reported that?)

– A case of gas and go occured in Coldbrook. (Can you really make a case out of that?)

– Two youth were shoplifting in Wal-Mart. Twenty minutes later a vehicle in the Wal-Mart parking lot was engulfed in flames. (Oh the conspiracy theories here!)

– An electric guitar was stolen at the corn boil in Burlington.

This next one if my personal favorite. Remember, these are word for word from the paper.

– A drunk blonde cause a passerby to call police after she was spotted staggering on Main Street. (If it was a man, do you think they would have mentioned the blonde part? If I were blonde, I might have been offended 🙂

And lastly…

– A cow was on Black Rock Rd at 9:26am last Wednesday. (I can hear it now…”Martha! Martha! What time is it? There’s a cow on the road! call the cops!)

There were a few more but I’ll let you read through them on your own time. I think I’ll be paying better attention to the “From the Cruiser” section from now on. It’s good fun. I wonder if Cooter will get lots of calls like this in SK? I should get him to write a weekly “from the cruiser” column.



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5 responses to “From the Cruiser

  1. Seriously too funny! I love small towns. 🙂

  2. Kim

    I saw a cow on Brooklyn St. last Monday morning. Silly me–I forgot to call 911!

    Those are a riot–whenever I read the local paper(which isn’t often) I usually read through those. Too funny!

  3. Leslie Hamilton

    I get a kick out fo From The crusier too. Funneist one I read was about a woman calling 911 because her husband refused to eat breakfast!!

  4. erin

    LOVE the stories, i’ll have to show them to hubby 🙂

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