I went to a Stampin Up party tonight and as I drove home I thought about what card I would make before I went to bed. I had it all planned.
It was dusk when I got home (I love June) and there was a bird singing so loudly and so happily in the tree right next to the driveway. It was beautiful and I actually said out loud, “You are one happy bird”.
I walked into the house and kicked off my flip-flops (have a mentioned I love June?) and just as I was walking towards the kitchen I heard that noise that no one likes to hear. A bird hit the living room window. Now, if any of you know me, you can tell by the fact that I am the cat rescuer that I have a soft spot for animals of all kinds. So of course I had to go right back outside and check to see if what I feared had happened really did happen.
There it was a little bird on the ground breathing heavily on it’s back. As I type this I’m fighting tears again because my heart immediatly broke. I can’t stand to see an animal suffer. Part of me wanted to ignore it so I wouldn’t have to see it suffer but I couldn’t just leave it there.
I came back inside and found Mike working on the back deck and cried to him the story and then grabbed the oven mitts and went back out because if it was going to suffer, it was going to do so in a comfy spot. Of course there was nothing I could do for it. It probably had a broken neck. So I just stood there, with a little bird in my oven mitts, crying my eyes out while Mike watched. I prayed for God to let it die. And then I prayed again, begging God to let it die so I wouldn’t have to watch it suffer or get Mike to put it out of it’s misery. Finally, after my third request to God for mercy on this little bird, it stretched out it’s left wing, opened it’s eyes wide and took it’s last breath. I was so relieved and sad at the same time. I thanked God for letting the little bird go and I asked Mike to go get a box so I could bury it.
While Mike was off finding an appropriate box, I thought about how out of control I was in that situation. I thought about how all I could do was cry and pray and wait for God to do whatever it was he was going to do. That was the lesson for me. Cry and pray and wait for God to do it. Knowing God knew that little bird was dying made me remember His everywhere-ness. God and I had a moment. He knew I was paying attention and I knew I had to give it to Him.
I don’t know if that was bird who had been singing beside the driveway but I do know that there was no more singing while I held the bird in my hands.