This evening before we put Chloe to bed I decided to read part of Matthew 28 to her. She stood in her crib and listened while I read and she made faces at her daddy 🙂 She doesn’t really get it yet, obviously, but I pray with her every night before she sleeps and sometimes she says Amen. It’s cute and she always listens to what I say. One night when I was at AWANA and Mike was putting her to bed, he told her it was time to say prayers and she said, “de-ah Lowd” (dear Lord). How special is that?
Lately I’ve been thinking about how much she really does pay attention to me and I’m a bit scared. I won’t lie, it’s terrifying to know that she says and does everything I do. Reading Galatians this past week started to make me think (again) about what I am teaching her about how I let (or don’t let) the Holy Spirit work in my life. Why do I seem to have a such a hard time lately to drop my bad habits and harsh words? I think I figured out part of the reason tonight. I was watching a You Tube video that Adventures in Babywearing has on her blog. It was a re-enactment of the crucifixion and ressurection from Matthew. I could barely watch. I think I’ve forgotten how great a sacrifice Jesus made for me (and you in case you didn’t know). I forgot what it cost him to save horrible sinners like me (and you in case you didn’t know). And then I forgot that HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD…yes, that’s right, He rose from the dead. How could anything else in this world be more important than these things? The answer is, nothing is more important. And I have forgotten that. Not forgotten in the traditional sense of not remembering but in the sense that I let it be down the list of things that are important. Bad move, Jenn.
Here’s what I am going to do starting tonight. I’m going to change the major thing that has been keeping me from remembering what’s important. I’m going to start praying again. I mean on my knees, in the dark, no dictractions praying. None of this fall asleep while mumbling the god bless list. Nope, when I was a faithful pray-er my life was SO different. Just talking to God is how you stay close to him, it’s how you hear him, and it’s how he gives you direction. Read the Bible too. I’ve been doing that but I am realizing that reading His word and not praying about it makes it less effective in your life.
I don’t want to be like the new Christians Paul was talking about when he said they had turned away from thier faith so soon. Nope, don’t wanna be one of those.
There. It’s easier to write an honest post when you think that maybe only two people have found your new blog. 🙂