BRF – 2 Timothy
If you go to our church, you probably have heard the crayon song. Maybe lots of people know this song, I don’t know. The course goes like this: “Red is the color of the blood that Jesus shed. Brown is for the crown of thorns they placed upon his head. Blue is for royalty which in Him did indwell. And yellow’s for the Christian, who’s afraid to tell.” This song has pretty much been stuck in my head for two weeks. Sometimes when songs get stuck in my head I start thinking about what the words mean. That’s a good thing because all too often, I sing songs at church and I don’t really think about the words I’m singing. What’s the good of singing praises if you don’t mean it? Anyway, the point is, I started on a bunny trail of why yellow has come to mean coward. As far as I know, the term yellow for coward is old. It reminds me of the old west and old yeller 🙂 But why yellow? I don’t know the actual answer to this but if one of you knows, please set me straight…but I have a guess.
Yellow could mean caution, but I think it might predate traffic lights and I don’t know if yellow meant caution before traffic lights came along 🙂 I think it could mean lukewarm. You know, like not very certain of your own opinion one way or the other and therefore being yellow and not taking a stand (like in revelation 3:16). I Could be completely wrong about yellow. I really found this an interesting connection to Timothy (you thought I forgot I was doing a review here didn’t ya?). How you may ask? Because Paul and Timothy were NOT yellow. Paul knew he was probably going to die soon but instead of whining and renouncing his faith so he could have a ‘get out of jail free – card’ he spent time instructing his faithful companion and brother in Christ on how to minister and to be a brave and fearless witness of Jesus Christ and His good news. He wasn’t scared and Paul knew Timothy wouldn’t be either. They were brave soldiers.
I’m not very brave. I want to be brave…sometimes. I kind of felt like this book was an encouragement to all believers (which I’m sure it is and that’s why it’s in the Bible:) I guess the reason I am scared is because I am not following paul’s intructions here in chapter 1. Paul said to Timothy that he knew that Timothy “sincerely trusts the Lord.” Hmmm, Lately, I can’t say that about myself…as much as I know my life would be so much better if I gave everything to the Lord and let Him handle things. Why don’t I do that? Why do I think I can handle things? I’ve never had a trusting personality as long as I can remember. Boy, do I have some work to do.
Paul also reminded timothy to “fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you.” and that “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self discipline.” A few years ago, I was having a really hard time with Anxiety Disorder and that verse was a comfort (along with many others) to know that a spirit of fear is not God given and that through Christ’s power, I can over come fear of anything. Horray ! Ok, there were way more things in chapter 1 alone that convicted me but I’ll move on because I’m pretty tired and I feel like I’m not making much sense. Words are not really coming to me tonight 🙂
Chap 2:4 “And as Christ’s soldier, do not let yourself become tied up in the affairs of this life, for then you cannot satisfy the One who has enlisted you in His army.” This was BIG for me. No wonder I can’t do the things I know I should! No wonder I am not brave! No wonder I feel far away from my Lord most of the time! I have let myself become tied up in the affairs of this life. Not even bad ones necessarily. Can someone answer me this please? How do you be a good mom and wife and a good Christian at the same time? I know the logical answer, if I am close to the Lord, I will then become a better mother and wife etc with the help of Christ. But in my quest to be good at those things, I can’t seem to find the time to get close to God which means I fail at those other things. I feel stuck and like I am repeating useless behaviors…which I pretty much am. I can admit that I am doing things backwards here. That’s why this “U-turn” I blogged about a few weeks ago seems so hard. I can’t get straightned around. Sigh. Life is hard and I am making it harder. Well, I guess the first step is realizing it 🙂
I know this is getting lengthy, I’m almost done here. I started thinking alot about the AWANA verse, too. I’m an awana leader, so I should take that verse to heart. I want to work hard so I don’t need to be ashamed and I want to be able to correctly explain the word of truth. And I want the kids that come to awana to think of me that way, so that they want to be that way too.
I’m telling ya, these book reviews are giving me so much work I should be doing. Wow, sometimes I want to give up. I probably shouldn’t give up. It’s important that I don’t, for my sake and for my family’s sake, and for others who might be watching me and I don’t even know it.
I’m trying to be brave right now. I’m trying.