Last night I sent out one of those funny little email surveys that most of us have done about 100 times since we got email addresses. They’re fun, I like them. The person I got the survey from last night is a friend of mine that I have been playing softball with since I was about 18. She is really nice and we get along really well. I know that she is not a Christian.
One of the survey question was “what are you most afraid of?” Her answer was, “dying” so I boldly (bold for me) emailed her and asked her why she was afraid of dying. Then I told her that I used to be afraid of dying too but I am no longer afraid since I became a christian. She has emailed me back. I see it there in my inbox but I am too scared to open it. When I saw it there, my heart skipped a beat and I couldn’t do it. What am I afraid of? Why is it so scary for me to do things like that? I certainly don’t witness often enough and it’s because of fear.
When I sit down and think about it (or blog about it) then I know that I am just being silly, that in the scope of eternity, it does not matter what she thinks of me…it matters what HE thinks of me. But I am still scared. What could be the worst thing she could say? She could tell me to never talk to her again but I doubt it. She could ask me some really hard questions…maybe that’s what scares me. I want to be able to back up what I say to people. Hmmmm, I’m getting a realization here that I don’t know the Bible like I should. Well duh, Jenn. One has to read the Bible in order to know it – Gosh! I am changing that and BRF is helping alot.
Maybe she’ll laugh at me. I don’t like being made fun of. So what happens if she does that? Nothing. I still have my family, my friends (who laugh at me but for a different reason), and just maybe God will think I did a brave thing and maybe He’ll be glad that I tried. Oh and just maybe He’ll expect me to do that more often. Yikes! Ok, I’m going to go open the email now.