Jenn rambles on

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

My burdens may not be as heavy as other peoples but I struggle with them just the same. And just maybe last night I cried out to God for a little help…and just maybe this morning this was the verse on my scripture flip calendar thingy on my kitchen window sill.

I think He heard me.

So I realize my birthday post was boring at best. But really, I wasn’t feeling terribly excited about the whole event. I suppose the better choice would have been to just not bother writing about it.

Anyway, on to the topic at hand. I need some healing. I’ll admit it, I have dry, cracked heels. Usually in the summertime they get a little bit better but lately they have been worse. Maybe it’s the extra weight I’m carrying what with the baby and all. My point is, last week my left heel pretty much split open. You can probably guess that it’s pretty painful. And it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Should I bandage it? Should I put something on it? I guess the other option would be to stay off it.

Yeah right.

Well, if anyone has helpful heel tips, bring me in to your circle of healing.

Because…well, ouch.

It feels like yesterday that I sat down and wrote my post about turning 30. Well, heavens to betsy today I turned 31. I’m in my 30’s. I can’t say I love it but what’s a girl to do? I’ll just keeping feeling 28 and move right along with life.

I’d love to have something insightful to write about what I’d like my next year to be. I know it will bring changes. For one thing, I will be the mother of two…which scares me just a little. But I suppose I will adjust to that in the same way I adjusted to being a mother in the first place. You deal. You have to. And you get alot of joy and a little heartache along the way…and if I remember correctly not a whole lot of sleep. I’m excited to meet this baby. The novelty of pregnancy has warn off and I’m just ready to have a new baby and get started. Not that I want a preemie, no sir, but I sorta hope the summer goes fast. It always does so I guess I shouldn’t rush it anymore than normal. I’m still bitter about winter.

The point is, time just keeps on speeding up. Every year disappears a little quicker than the last. Strange how that is. I guess that  means I’m a grown up now. Yikes! 

Birthdays always make me so melancholy.

Yes, yes I believe I did!

I posted awhile back about my fears and worries of childbirth this time around. I talked about whether or not I had the guts to try for a VBAC or to just go ahead and schedule the c-section which I have the option of doing since my daughter was born by section. And so, I prayed and read and am still reading but I really think I am GOING TO GO FOR IT! I’m going to try for the VBAC. There really isn’t any reason that I shouldn’t try. In all the research that I’ve done I haven’t come across anything that convinces otherwise.

Yay me! This was a tough decision for me. It was one that no one could make for me. I just had to get educated enough to figure it out for myself. A couple of friends have been really supportive, giving me websites and lending me books to read. The one I am currently reading “The VBAC Companion”, loaned to me by Seven, has been a real help and a great educator and I’m not even halfway through yet.

And today I talked to my OB about a few things I was either worried about or just wanted to know and he was informative and seemed like he had no concerns for me to give it a go.

I’m not going to lie, I’m still a little scared. I’m scared that I’ll have the same crazy hard labour and four MORE hours of pushing that ends in a section again. But, I think I will be pleased in the end if I at least give it a try. I really want the experience of birth…not someone birthing for me in surgery. And I don’t want to be seperated from my husband and baby like I was when I went to recovery after my daughter was born by section. So, those being my two biggest motivators, I will try. 

(yikes!)

I really thought that God was going to make me wait longer to give me peace about a decision…or maybe it’s that I wasn’t really listening all along but He is faithful and I need to remember that. I think seven loaning me that book was all part of the plan too

Anyway, there you have it. I might be proud of myself for not being a chicken for once!! Woot!

In case you’re dying to know how C made out on her first pucky-free night, she did ok. She did call for me a couple of times and ask for them back but once she fell asleep, she slept through the whole night. She woke up and cried this morning when she couldn’t find one in her bed but was easily distracted by breakfast.

She did not nap this afternoon and I fear she may never nap again. It’s alright though, she has been slowly phasing out the afternoon nap anyway. Sometimes I just like when she takes a nap, that’s all But at least she will stay in her room for rest time. I need that.

And tonight when I put her to bed she asked for them again but I keep reminding her how big she is and that her new baby cousin needs them much more than she does because Aslyn doesn’t have a blankie OR a ducky yet. That seems to make sense to her.

In other oh-so-interesting news, we are going to have a front lawn soon! yay! We’ve been living in the land of dirt for a year now and I might be a little excited to have grass. We are going to sod the front and side yard. Mike’s work sells it now so he gets it for some ultra-discounted price that just seems to make more sense than waiting for seed to grow. But just to be different, we’re going to seed the backyard because it’s a bit larger and would cost a little more to sod.

What, can’t I be excited to have grass in my yard?

So. Most of you who read this here blog o mine know that my sister did in fact finally have her baby friday morning. Yay! We are all very happy…it’s a girl, she was 9lbs 9oz and they named her Aslyn. She is the spitting image of her father. She’s a sweet little thing and I cannot wait for the end of Septmeber because I want mine

Yesterday, my not-so-little-anymore girl volunteered to give baby Aslyn her soothers. I hate to admit it but C still takes one to bed with her…until tonight. We packaged up the “puckies” as she calls them and brought them to Aslyn today because everybody knows new babies need puckies, right? Of course they do. The older, more grown up girls pass the pucky to the new baby. And so C with no convincing from us, passed them on to her new cousin.

I just put her to bed and she asked me a couple times if she could have one back and I told her that her cousin needed them now and she would be ok because she has ducky and blankie to snuggle. I’m nervous of how the next few nights will go. I think she’ll be ok but I could be wrong. So far tonight she is quiet. Hmmmm….

Well I’m still waiting for my sister to have her baby. But the good news is that it will be today sometime…unless the induction takes her labour past midnight tonight and I certianly hope not! C and I are waiting here for the call that she is getting closer. It kinda stinks waiting here but I also know my child and a whole entire day of hanging out at the hospital would not be pleasant for anyone after she got bored. So, we shall wait…sigh. I don’t want to wait. But I will.

Normally Mike would have taken the day off but I used up my free pass of him staying home from work the other day when we all thought she would have the baby Tuesday morning and we spent most of the night at the hospital. I slept a good chunk of that day once her labour stalled and we all got sent home.  So, he had to go to work this morning and I have to stay here and wait for phone updates. Sigh.

Anywho, what can ya do. I hope the day goes well for her and that it isn’t as hard as I think it will be. We don’t have a great family history when it comes to labour and delivery. Maybe she’ll break the mould. Although the fact that she has been having contractions since last Friday suggests that she is on cue with mom and I in child birth. It makes me want to schedule my section right quick for this next one. Oh the memories of labour are pouring back in

 nm,ddnkjjojkjjjhiopuouiuiiuiuogdjghbnchghhfhfhhhhhtttttttttttgygggyggggfffgfyyydduunbhhuhhhuuyuy

Oh, that was my daughter wanting to contribute to the blog today

Check ya later

So the oven got fixed yesterday. That’s good news I suppose. It was a little difficult trying to figure out things to eat…especially without the stove top, I found that most inconvenient. Anyway, I am back in business cooking mediocre meals for my family once again. I hope to someday really enjoy cooking and trying new and complicated recipes that taste delicious but I’m all about recipes that are easy and still taste good. It works for us.

Still waiting for my sister to have her baby. It’s late. She has an OB appointment tomorrow and she is hoping he can hurry things up somehow but I doubt he’ll do too much at this point. Her husband is scheduled to go away on June 10th and they are getting scared that the baby won’t be born before he leaves. I think it’ll come out before then. Hopefully. That’s kind of a lot of days late if it doesn’t!

I really wish I could have a nap today. C is sleeping but I can only let her sleep for about 45minutes or she will be awake till 9:30pm and will still wake up around 6:30 or 7:00am. So I have to keep her from getting too much sleep during the day so that we aren’t up all night. Which really doesn’t give me time to nap. I’ll snap out of my fog by suppertime I hope. I’ll just keep yawning away.

So there are things happening around here concerning hubby’s job. We’ve been praying that something closer to home might come up where the price of gas is so rediculously high. There are 2 prospects that he is looking at. I can’t obviously say too much at this point but I will say that by the end of the week he hopes to have either a new job or more money from his current position to help offset the cost of gas. That would be nice but even if none of those things happen we will be ok. Even in the hardest times, God is faithful and we are ok. It’s weird, I have the hardest time leaving certain things for God to handle but I never seem to worry as much about money and financial siuations. Sometimes they are a bit stressful but I always know we will be ok. I wish I found it easier to give God the other aspects of my life as well. Something to work on for sure.

Anyway, if I have any big news, I’ll share it when I can

Literally, I can’t cook. My oven and stove top are broken. Friday evening mike came home to unbaked haddock. Would have been good too. It got all half cooked and then the oven died. Bummer. If we were smart we would have finished it on the BBQ, but I just thought of that now. When your oven breaks on a friday evening you can’t get a repair man until monday so Mike tried to fix it on Saturday. You know, the guy is pretty handy, he’s good at stuff but all I’m going to say is that I heard a loud pop and saw him jump back. Now my stove top burners don’t work either. Oh well, he tried.

Saturday we BBQ’d twice and today we got take-out for lunch. I managed to avoid having to think of anything for supper because we made sure to stuff oursleves at a birthday party we took C to this afternoon. Good plan.

Anyway, It’ll be PB&J tomorrow for at least one meal. Nothing wrong with that.

In other news I’m not-so-patiently waiting for my sister to give birth. Her ultrasound due date was yesterday but what’s a due date anyway? First babies often take their time…so I’m told. C was a few days early. They don’t know what they are having so we are pretty excited to find out who this little person is. Hurry up!

Mike somehow injured his neck. He can’t move so well. Chance are he’ll go to work tomorrow anyway and it’ll take twice as long to heal because he can’t stay home and rest. Apparently the place will explode without him.

If you’ve ever seen Napoleon Dynamite the phrase, “you’re bruising my neck meat” will make you laugh just a little. Well, we’ve been saying that today about Mike and so C tells one of the older ladies at church this evening that Daddy was home because he hurt his neck meat. I was secretly horrified and amused all at once

Ok, that should be enough random for ya.

I just got home from a friends house. She used to be one of my ball coaches when I was in high school. Since then, we’ve played on alot of ball teams together and have been really good friends. Sunday morning her 21 year old son was killed in a car accident just down the road from me.

He had a fiancee and two little boys aged 2 and 1.

I’m really, really bad at knowing what to say and do in situations like that because there really isn’t anything you can say that can make a family feel better after such a tragedy. My normal reacation would be to do nothing but I knew I had to see her so after supper I went over. Of course there was a tonne of people there who were pretty much in the same boat I was but I’m glad I went. I got to hug her and her husband and let them cry…which of course made me bawl my face off. And I think most heartbreaking of all was their youngest daughter. I think she is about 14. She couldn’t stop crying. She doesn’t know me very well but as soon as she saw me she fell into my hug and just sobbed. Oh my stars I could barely handle it.

It’s hard to make sense of these tragedies and even though I don’t get it, it made me appreciate that I know where most of my family and friends will be if they die sooner than I think they should. Most of them would be waiting in heaven. I don’t think this family has that same assurance and that was hard on my heart too.

So, if you think of it, pray for Kim and Reg (the parents), Scott, Samantha, and Tessa (the brother and sisters of Logan) and of course his finacee and little boys as well. The oldest of Logan’s boys is just a little younger than C and keeps asking where his Daddy is. Oh my gosh, that is so hard to imagine seeing as I have a two year old who would ask the same questions and not really be able to understand the answer.

Ok, my heart is a little broken but I had to write it out and remember to be thankful for everyone I still have in my life and also to remember that we don’t know when God has our time set for us to go be with Him.